I want to take the darkest path to the same destination because I’ve dreamt so long, left death so intrinsically aligned upon myself that the sin and all the faults have become me. There is no other way to save me at all. There is no eyes of redemption upon me at all.
-I have been condemned
without trial
as guilty.
So I dare to be more guilty than I ever was in the start. Dancing from pure and angelic to a Porphyria choked by her infidelity. I want to bury myself deeper into the world of snakes and knights, thieves and stolen maidens because the innocence I once cradled against my heart was all an illusion.
In a world where the only reality is the sins of man, should I be blind by choosing a path of silence and repressed voices?
Myself
For so long, I have been so physically, psychologically and mentally damaged that my anguish digs into me and buries my soul under the words I wish I had whispered ages ago. There is no returning to the start of my journey of pain - I stay transfixed in the present - for I must find myself dead in these woes to know that I am still existing.
I wish that my body could ask for the easiest way out that is still preserving the worth of my soul, my body and my existence. But I dare not. I must fruitlessly exile my chastity to lie under covers and cry your name. I am not as innocent as my age expects of me. I am ruthlessly driven by causes of neglect and insecurities heightened by my complexion.
I want the darkest escape for I am a mangled body of scars.
Because of love
It might be the closest way to get to you. To dare the death of my innocence in search of burying myself within your soul. The only obstacle is: you would never. You wouldn’t turn me into the darkest act the way those before you did. You are a sweet obstacle that saves me from death but leaves me barely breathing in the nights I wish you’d fill the gaps in me.
Why must you be so pure in your ways? I wish for you to be my reason for ruin and that’s only because the distance attempts to drive us further away and I can’t handle that. I don’t want to. I want sanity and yet that is so far.
So for love, and for the constant remembrance of you, I want the darkest roads filled with mature delights that fascinate a premature mind.
Rebellion
Since, at heart, I am eternally rebellious, I want the most darkest road to the end because I despise what it feels to be bent and moulded by the expectations of my “superiors”. My wild, free self needs the consistency of that feeling in my body when I defy the worlds.
Oh to be an image of defiance and of a mortal that melts the chains with the flames of her rage. I wish that the journey of my escape had ballads and novels written by the worlds most beautiful writers, but I must leave that at my own hands for who wishes to hear my story? Not you. Not even I. And yet I must leave my mark, and I seem to do that in the growing list of my sins that I must expiate. I wish that I could. I wish that I would.
But instead, I am intent on battling the worlds in search of a shelf to place my words upon. I wish that someone would hear me and drag me out of this race because I’m afraid I will take the shortcut and sell myself to the highest bidder. And thought it would always be an inevitable, I wish that the act of being sold were at my own hands so no regrets could pull me back and teach me love. I don’t deserve it. I never have. I don’t think I ever will. So my love, if you read this, you are forever my muse but we may be existing a world, in between, where I am not truly yours. I am not even my own. Perhaps you might want to ask the highest bidder of my fate, only he knows, for I took the darkest path to my doom.
Lishyx
From Her never-ending chapters…
this is gorgeous my Lishy I love you 🫶🏼